I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
