worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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