How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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