a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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