it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
