I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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