The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
