Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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