He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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