I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Boobs are out for the taking
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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