love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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