Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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