I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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