im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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