HIV tests are more positive than that guy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
