That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
