awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
