Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
