I could have mohawked her pubes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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