Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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