i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
