I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
