He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
