The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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