dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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