so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
