that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My balls are so social today.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
