dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
