And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
