I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
third nipple confirmed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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