my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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