I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
