What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
