Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
