I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I didn't notice because vodka
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
