some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
