Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
