i just wanna soil my oats bro
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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