waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I need to calm my uterus...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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