Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
