Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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