If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
