youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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