This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
