We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
