Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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