Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
