and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize