Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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