and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize