Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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