I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
