I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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