i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
