so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
