I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
