Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
