Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize