Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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