It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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