oh god the rape fog is back!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize