We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
this is an emotional support booty call
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize