dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
