you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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