You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Actions speak louder than pants.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
