Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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