i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
