I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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