im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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