I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
