Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Mom said you looked used
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
