I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
