I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
