I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
