kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
