Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
